Chris left today to go to PR

Chris left today to go to Puerto Rico for five days of "wild cavorting" with her girlfriend Gloria, who lives in San Juan. It's the perfect time of the year - in the 80's and sunny!

Driven by guilt for abandoning me, Chris has tried to plan for every eventuality. She has filled the refrigerator with cut-up salads and "healthy" sandwich makings. Friends have joined in with invitations for dinner and movies so I won't get too lonely. What they don't realize is I already have plans for the time; plans to carouse as only a temporary bachelor can. These plans have been honed over many years of experience. I look forward to these all too brief interludes on my own to catch up with things I haven't been able to do while on the daily treadmill.

Day 1

• Read newspaper; do crossword
  
• don't exercise;
  
• eat a single English Muffin for breakfast;
  
• watch stock market (not fun!);
  
• read book ;
  
• buy a toy (I deserve it);
  
• have pizza for lunch;
  
• have lots of Chicken wings for supper;
  
• watch TV

Day 2

• Read newspaper do crossword;
  
• exercise (make sure there's a witness);
  
• go out for breakfast,
  
• watch stock market (still not much fun);
  
• read book;
  
• have a cheeseburger and fries for Lunch;
  
• buy another toy;
  
• have Chinese food delivered for dinner (spare ribs!);
  
• play cards

Day 3

• Sleep late;
  
• read newspaper; do WSJ crossword puzzle (Times is too tough on Friday
  
• don't exercise (too tired after card game);
  
• eat an english muffin for breakfast (restraint is good, don't want to overdo it!);
  
• watch stock market (still not much fun);
  
• read a good book (no more mysteries);
  
• have a sandwich for lunch;
  
• buy a toy;
  
• have pizza for dinner;
  
• watch TV

Day 4

This is the most problematic day because the cleaning woman is here so I have to make sure I'm out of the house for most of the day.

• Read newspaper at diner with breakfast
  
• do Sunday Times Crossword
  
• don't exercise (it's the Jewish sabbath!).
  
• go to Barnes & Noble to buy books
  
• have a sandwich for lunch at Starbucks
  
• go home to read a book
  
• send out for chicken for dinner
  
• watch TV

Day 5

• Read newspaper
  
• Eat an english muffin for breakfast
  
• don't exercise (it's the Christian sabbath)
  
• Watch Sunday news shows
  
• Don't pick up Chris at the airport - too busy!

Day 6 (Chris is home)

• Read newspaper
  
• Exercise
  
• Eat cereal for breakfast
  
• see new exhibit at Metropolitan Museum
  
• share a 1/2 a sandwich for lunch
  
• Meet people to set up My Own Book Fund school visit
  
• go shopping to refill refrigerator with healthy food
  
• Salad for dinner at home before theater.
  
• Roundabout Theater
  
• Cocktails at the Algonquin

As you can see, I need these all to brief interludes of "bachelorhood" to put some excitement in my life. I love Chris dearly but she never wants to do anything!

HAIR IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES!

While I've experienced the effects of aging somewhat gradually, there's one thing that makes me crazy--it's the little surprises that seem to sneak up on you when you least expect them. The other day, when I was trying to pluck my eye brows (which by the way now needs to be done with XXXXX magnification), I saw a long UGLY BLACK HAIR GROWING ON MY CHIN!!!! How did that happen ???? Where did it come from?????? Isn't it enough to be plagued with hot flashes, sleepless nights, and adolescent mood swings ?????? not to mention the insidious effects of gravity!

Having eliminated the above hair, I began to examine my face for other offensive growth and was relieved to see nothing more then some stray eyebrow hairs. Since then, I've noticed that hair is one of those things that seems to afflict others of this age group. Have you noticed how it sprouts from the ends of some men's noses??? How about those tufts resting inside the ear??? I now find myself running my hand under my chin looking for other offenders--what if I start sprouting hairs on my upper lip, or worse yet, what if those little sunspots turn into ugly hairy moles!

Further examination of my face made me cringe. When did those lines running upwards from my lips appear??????? If this gets any worse, it could soon look like I had pleats under my nose! The 'helpful' young girl at the lipstick counter recently noticed these lines and offered a new product for a mere $35.00 to solve the problem of 'bleeding' lipstick. I bought it right away, after all, how could I possibly risk having the lipstick run up to meet my nose?? As time marches on, I'm wondering what other surprises are in store. One of these days it would really be great to find a welcome surprise!

Some hard lessons

Shortly after we retired, it became clear that we (especially me) needed to change the way we ate; and the way we stayed in shape - or things could get out of hand.

First, we decided to get serious about exercising daily. The first step was to make sure we had all the appropriate equipment. After outfitting the basement in Otis with all the same equipment we had in NY, we were ready to get serious! It's very important to have the right equipment. I've been able to cut back to only 5 days a week by having the right equipment. Chris isn't as "efficient" and needs at least 6 days. Unfortunately, even 5 days is terminally boring. It's the longest hour of the day. The only way I can get through it is to listen to downloaded pod-casts of NPR programs while exercising. It's like TiVo for the radio. You 'subscribe' to any programs that interest you (they're all free) and then they automatically download when you sync your i-Pod. I currently subscribe to 10 programs. Chris also subscribes to some French language pod-casts. Bicycle riding also falls into the exercising category. So far, the only weight I've lost doing that is through the removal of skin from hands and knees!

The other major change we made is in the way we eat. Surprisingly, this has proved to be the easiest change to make once we got serious. We realized that we each had some bad habits; and that between us we had them all. For instance, I am pretty good at selecting the right foods but awful at portion control. So I order grilled chicken but then eat the whole thing like it was a "free" food. Chris has good portion control. She eats only one piece; but it might be fried or stuffed with rich sauce. Between us we did everything wrong - Chris made sure we got the delicious (but bad) foods and I made sure we had a lot of them.

We decided our goal would be slow, but steady weight loss. No crash diets, but a real change in the way we ate that would make a real difference over time. Food is a big part of our enjoyment of life. We didn't want to change that. We decided to go with the "You on a Diet" book by Drs. Roizen and Oz. It gives you the tools you need to eat healthier. We bought two copies and read them separately. Then compared notes. Since then, we have been much more attuned to what we eat and make better choices.

Some key lessons learned:

1. Portion control is the most important factor. I now let Chris select what we buy. I eat smaller portions; but I'm never hungry.
   
2. Emphasize preparations that are inherently more healthy rather than trying to substitute low fat or low cal ingredients for the "right" ones. Roasting, baking, stir frying are inherently better. All vegetables are good (including potatoes), just don't cover them with cheese or butter.
   
3. Eat home more often. This was a big one for me. My goal was to increase the number of times we ate out. But Chris has developed a number of "healthy" meals that we both like and we try to have the "right" foods in the house so we don't snack. For example. Chris makes a wonderful gazpacho that we always have available for lunch or with dinner.
   
4. When we do eat out, avoid restaurants that specialize in fast food or huge portions. The first part of this is easier than the second. Most restaurants serve larger portions than we "need" but not more than I can eat!
   
5. Don't deprive yourself! We still have a cocktail or a bottle of wine (usually not both) and splurge occasionally. When we do splurge, we try to be sensitive to what else we are eating and limit the damage. Also, We often have an appetizer (not just salad) but rarely a dessert. When we do splurge on ice cream (a shared weakness) we try not to also have a big meal.
   

All in all I think we have successfully changed the way we eat and have both lost weight (and inches). We have also been successful in not making this a crash diet. Slow but steady has been our watchword - probably more slow than steady - but always in the right direction.

Thoughts on a new life

Today, I am married to Chris for three years!

It's been almost 10 years since Tobi died and I can't believe the changes in my life. Back then, I was CFO of Pfizer's global pharmaceutical business and was on top of the world, professionally. Retirement wasn't something I could even imagine. On the other hand, Tobi wasn't doing well. She had recently become wheelchair-bound after 25 years of increasing disability. And, despite my cherished belief that MS would somehow protect her from cancer - she had suffered enough! Unbelievably, Tobi's breast cancer had recurred and rapidly progressed. Work seemed like all I had left.

When I made the decision to start a new life, I could not have imagined how dramatic or wonderful the changes would be. The decorator who worked on my apartment also introduced me to Chris. I quickly realized she was the perfect match for me - she loved NY and food and travel and reading and quiet times - and she made friends everywhere we went; She was organized where I was dis-organized and dis-organized where I was organized. We "quickly" decided to move in together and later; when I got the "chance to retire early" she agreed to retire as well and then agreed to marry me. We had a quiet wedding at my sister's home in Greenwich followed by a trip to the Poconos for a "traditional honeymoon" with all the trimmings - heart shaped bed, champagne glass hot tub, everything I never knew I wanted. It was a blast! We also took a honeymoon cruise on a three-masted schooner.

I really won. I not only got a wife, but the family I never had. Being involved with Scott has been an unexpected benefit that I never even considered. I now have a friend who shares my love of clothes, technology and adult toys.

It has now been three years of both marriage and retirement, and I couldn't be happier. We spend most of our time together but it never gets old. We have been fortunate to have been able to spend time with both friends of a lifetime and new ones. Our building in Manhattan is small and most everyone knows each other. We have new friends and feel part of the community.

We are always busy. We never have enough time to do everything we want. Living in NY and the Berkshires there is an almost infinite amount of theater, museums and restaurants - the big three! We also managed to find time for Paris in the fall, Palm Beach in the winter; a cruise now and then; and driving trips to Canada and in the US. As our in-house travel agent, Chris is really, really busy. I manage my time better (by delegating to Chris) and have more time to read and puzzle.

I never thought you could have it all, but I was wrong. We now have everything we could want, including each other - and it scares the hell out of me.

Thought on Baseball and my Father

The Yankees are having the worst season in living memory, and yet, when they unexpectedly (for Red Sox fans) come alive and win 9 games in a row I find myself walking around with a silly smile and "jabbing" my friends who are Red Sox or Mets fans. This always leaves me wondering where this comes from - I'm not generally a sports fan. I usually say I come by my Yankees-ism naturally, being born in the Bronx. But that's only part of the story.

Often, when I think of my father, I imagine him either at work or listening (or, more likely arguing) about the Yankees. When I was young, he would often take me with him on Saturdays to the construction yard on Zerega Avenue in the Bronx, where he worked. It was Del Balso Construction, owned by his cousin and he worked there. It was some of the most 'quality time' I spent with him; talking about what he loved - the equipment and the jobs. I would watch him work, asking a million questions; or roam around the yard getting into trouble. One of my favorite activities was sharpening welding rods into little spears that I would use to hunt rats (the site was on the water). I never caught any, but it was great fun, as was trying to befriend the stray dogs and cats that were kept there to keep the rat population under control. We usually stayed until lunch; steaks cooked over an open fire in an oil can in the winter or White Castle hamburgers when it was too warm for a fire. The steaks were my favorite, but I also loved the hamburgers, especially the competition as to how many you could eat. I remember him eating 10 of the little devils. Even in my memory they were awful, greasy, little squares of meat with holes in them, served on mushy steamed buns with onions providing the only recognizable taste.

My father adored the Yankees. In those days your team really defined you and where you fit in. I remember many discussion with my mother (who was notably less enthusiastic) where my father would dismiss some couple that she wanted to spend time with as Giants fans, or with incredulity, Dodgers fans. Giants fans were misguided, but ultimately salvageable. It was worth trying to change their minds - loudly! Dodgers fans were beyond the pale and best avoided. I was reminded of this last year when I was crushed by the Yankees inexplicable loss to the Red Sox (the Dodgers of today). I would not nearly be as bereft by a loss to the Mets. This is a good thing since they lost to them last night and I'm going the game today with Barry. Some of my fondest memories of my father were at Yankees games where he taught me how to score the game on the program. I still remember most of the symbols. As I got older, I sort of drifted away from baseball and the Yanks (they were truly awful). Paradoxically, it was the devastating baseball strike of 1994 that reminded me how much I loved the "feeling" of baseball. I'm still not a real fan; I read about more games than I see, but have a strong emotional attachment to the Yankees and, I guess, my father.

My father did have a third great love--gardening, that he passed on to my sisters and somehow, posthumously to my wife. When I see Chris o in the garden in Otis, or outside our building in New York (she leads the Garden Committee) I can't help thinking this is my father's revenge for all the bad nights I gave him in my teenage years (more accurately, until I got married at 23). It usually fell to him to "defend" me from my mother when I came home drunk, or just didn't come home. His most familiar argument, that I wasn't that bad, he had been worse, left me striving to do "better" than him.

Well, I'm leaving for the game soon and I really hope they win. It's a long way back to even be in the pennant race. It's hard enough being from the Bronx when the Yankees are winning. My friends who are Mets fans or Red Sox fans ( I hope my father is not reading this) are used to losing - seem to relish it in some strange way. But Yankees fans are used to winning and get no sympathy when they lose. People seem to feel validated by the big bully's problems. It's not easy being a Yankees fan.

Richard at rest during Florida getaway

Paul looking sharp at the Florida getaway

I

Who/What is this man? during Florida getaway

Barry Fleischer at our Florida Week-end

Donald Delman at our Florida week-end

RE-ENTRY!

Today it's a week since we've come home and I feel like I'm doing penance for our recent travels. I FEEL TERRIBLE! My eyes are dry, I'm up at all hours, can't seem to find a normal routine anymore and am getting very impatient. To top it off, I have a cold, am not in the mood to exercise and have been whining and pretty unbearable for this whole time!

Picture this....being awake, showered dressed and ready to go at 3:00am in the morning! It's dark outside, too early to order a bagel with lox and cream cheese, television choices are the test pattern or infomercials--do you have any idea what they're selling at this time of the morning????? We've just about considered Scott and Jory's suggestion of going out clubbing--if only we knew where to go!

I've balanced the cheque book, written a months worth of Birthday cards, researched many things on my list, sorted out my mother, organized pictures, caught up with all outstanding correspondance and planned meals for a month! I'm exhausted and think I need a vacation!!!!!!!!!

Some Better Experiences in Paris

Some better experiences in Paris

After our early disappointments (see http://restchallenge.blogspot.com/) we buckled down and seriously considered where we would be eating. In general, we avoid Michelin 2 and 3 star restaurants as painfully expensive and overly formal (both a result of the Michelin grading standards). A recent development has been the opening of more informal bistros by famous chefs that do not try to meet the Michelin standards. L'Atelier Maitre Albert, that disappointed us last week, is from Guy Savoy. We will be trying several more over the next few weeks.

Le Florimond is a thoroughly enjoyable restaurant in the 7^th, near the Invalides. This is not an area we go to frequently because I don't like the ambiance as it's the HQ for many government offices. However, the review of this restaurant was good in both Michelin and Zagats. The restaurant is small and the staff was just delightful, a good sense of humor and repartee.

Overall this has been our best dining experience thus far. I started with a excellent foie gras and chicken giblets with salad. It was delicious and the salad was fresh (not always true in Paris, the French are not lovers of green vegetables). Chris had a mushroom and escargot terrine topped with cepes in a cream sauce. Delicious!

For the main course, Chris had "Chou Farci" (stuffed cabbage, there's no accounting for taste). It was quite good, and just like her grandma's. I had a much more traditional Perdreau (partridge) in a delicious stew. The bread was great and we had a very nice Burgundy (Beaune). The person beside us had an "assiette du chocolate" which looked like heaven for the chocolate lovers out there. The menu can be had for 35E.

An added bit of fun was a splendid view of the twinkling Eiffel tower viewed down the rue St. Dominique. The buildings on either side framed the tower perfectly.

Le Florimond

19, av de la Motte-Picquet
Paris 7, France
01 45 55 40 38

Le Christine is a delightful small bistro in an old Parisian house near the Odeon. Service is good and friendly in the packed small rooms. The buzz is definitely ���tourist���. The kitchen is open behind glass and it���s amazing that they can deliver beautifully prepared dishes to such a large crowd. If you go, ask to be seated in the back room, hopefully next to the window by the courtyard.

My starter, a vegetable tart, was excellent. Chris had a warm goat cheese on toast (she���s a sucker for warm goat cheese). Mine was better! (Only in his opinion!)

We shared a beautifully prepared whole bass in a salt crust served with a side of mashed potatoes (a Chris favorite). Unusually, we shared dessert (an orange souffl��) that was outstanding. I only wished we had ordered two. Our meal was complimentd by a bottle of Sancerre.

Christine (Le)

Zagat Review

Off the beaten path and oozing charm. Near the Odeon.

1, rue Christine
Paris 6 , France
01 40 51 71 64

Le Petit Pontoise is a wonderful Parisian bistro in the Latin Quarter, about a ten minute walk from our apartment. They specialize in French 'comfort food' if you can believe that. It's a small room and always crowded but the staff is friendly and helpful (everything is listed on blackboards around the room).

Christina started with a warm fig stuffed with roquefort cheese on a bed of greens (not all that fresh) and I had sauteed mushrooms (girolles) and garlic (lots of garlic!). We followed with scallops sauteed on a medley of vegetables. My Magret de Canard (duck breast) with roasted potatoes came in it's own casserole. Both were excellent. Our wine this evening was a Beaujolais (Morgon 2005).

The people at the next table were visiting from Minnesota (!) and we had nothing in common with them except the language and a love of Paris. They were both consultants working for the non-profit sector. He takes 100 mile bike rides, hikes, marathons and mountain climbs. Fortunately, they also eat! It was a fun evening, sharing good food, favourite places to wander and shops we have each enjoyed.

Petit Pontoise (Le)

Zagat Review

Wow. exclaim enthusiasts of this wonderful, unspoiled Parisian bistro in the Latin Quarter

9, rue de Pontoise
Paris , France
01 43 29 25 20

Bachelor for a week!

Christina left this morning for a "Wild Women" week in Florida with her friends from Canada. I'm flying down to meet her in Palm Beach next Thursday. I know all of you are wondering, "what wonderful things will he be doing while SHE'S away! A week in the "Big Apple" as a bachelor!

Unfortunately, in our family the situation is reversed. Christina is more likely to be the "party animal". My big celebration was to skip exercise and have chicken wings for lunch - woo hoo! Without Christina to plan our outings there are no outings. When I go to Barry's for our annual "Bronx Boys Weekend" our nights are spent smoking cigars and drinking scotch on the terrace (I don't smoke cigars but make up for it with the scotch). One year the neighbors complained we were making too much noise and we were thrilled! We're sooo bad...

On the other hand I am looking forward to this time. I have a number of projects I am working on:

• I've bought a couple of books on "Blogging" and hope to finally get my act together. Two things in particular interest me RSS (news feeds) and "Moblogging" where you can post text and pictures directly from your phone. That should be great when we are traveling.
  
• I'm also trying desperately to learn how to do "cryptic crosswords". Those are the UK-style puzzles a la The Times. I can't believe how difficult they are. I have read books on how to solve them and I still can't figure them out even when I have the answers available!
  
• I've also got some books I want to read; George Eliot's "Middlemarch" (the Classic Comic was great) and a couple of current events books George Packer's "Assassins Gate" about how we got involved in Iraq and John Lewis Gaddis' history of "The Cold War". I always seem to find time for mysteries and not for the more "serious" books; even though they are often fascinating to me when I do read them.

Otherwise my idea of excitement runs to eating pizza and chicken wings and staying up late to watch Charlie Rose or David Letterman. Fortunately, I am also well equipped with games by Scott (who works for a video game company). With Chris gone, I don't have to share the PSP.

While it may not be a thing of envy for everyone, it's works for me.

I am not bored

I am NOT bored…

The most common question people ask me about retirement is… “Aren't you bored?” It’s a fair question, I was obsessed about it myself when I was deciding whether to retire. Retirement has made it possible to concentrate on all the things we never had time for: museums, galleries, reading, movies and all the other wonderful sights and sounds we were never even aware of before. We are even taking courses at NYU (in World History and Movies) and looking at opportunities to volunteer (Chris at the YMCA).

However, while I think I can be described as “boredom-avoidance obsessed”, what interests me may not interest others. My interests are much more “city” than “country. This got me thinking about all the things I do to “keep busy”. Maybe some of them will sound familiar to others (maybe not, and maybe I’m weirder than I thought!).

• First, I hate walking in the woods. It’s not the walking. There are no people or stores. After the first ten minutes its boring. One bush or squirrel looks pretty much like any other. In my opinion, beautiful vistas are best seen from a car (preferably moving).

• I do love walking in the city. Preferably New York or Paris, but even Great Barrington . There are shops and people of all sorts. It’s a Winter Wonderland! We walk a mile or two every day in the city and I’m never bored. Walking with Christina is even better – she sees things I would never notice. It’s like going to a brand new place every time.

• I also hate exercising. That 35 minutes on the bike is an eternity. Watching TV doesn’t help because there are so many commercials. Thank god for Books-On-Tape (or CDs) and public radio.
  

• I cannot go to the bathroom without something to read. The more urgent the need, the more urgent the need for something to read. I have already read every medicine, lotion and shampoo bottle. I may be the only person to know the proper way to wash and condition your hair. I also cannot eat alone without a book or paper. That’s why I rarely eat out when Chris is away.

• I drive Chris crazy by always having the radio (or TV) on when I am home. I need at least two, preferably three things going on at once to make sure I always have a backup if my attention wanders. This drives Chris crazy. She frequently runs away to another room to be able to concentrate on one thing. It may also be driving me crazy. I’ve been working on turning everything off and just sitting and thinking. I’ve made some progress but I have a long way to go. In the meantime I am reading 4 or 5 books a week and doing crossword puzzles.

Well, I must go, retirement for us is not very retiring. How did we ever have time to work!

Is “dawdling” a word?

Earlier this week, Christina called me from the Metro station to say she was back from her cooking adventure and would be home in 10 minutes (its only 2 blocks). When she showed up 2 hours later, I asked what had happened. She replied that she was “dawdling” - and had discovered a beautiful courtyard in the building across the street; met the nicest woman with a cute dog; and bought me lunch.

The dictionary defines dawdle as “verb {I}. to do something or go somewhere very slowly, taking more time than is necessary:. -”. Under “usage” there is a small picture of Christina.

If an observer could watch Christina and I leave the apartment in the morning on our way to get breakfast she would see us leave the building holding hands and setting off firmly on the path to Bread and Roses. What she couldn’t see was that I had carefully plotted out the shortest possible walking route and was holding Christina’s hand in a vain attempt to keep her on track. Within 50 feet, something “interesting” catches her eye and the progression slows. At some point I give up and sit down on a bench or step to wait. By the way, dawdling is not limited to walking. When she’s in front of a computer it’s the same thing – hours pass and she returns with arms full of printouts of things for us to do!

Fortunately for both of us, the world is a very different place seen through Christina’s eyes. It’s full of interesting sights and things to do. Every open door is an opportunity to explore a new courtyard; every info display has lots of museums to visit and courses to take; every magazine is full of movies and shows to see. We can’t walk down a block without meeting someone new (usually a shop owner or a dog). When Christina is around there’s never a shortage of interesting things to do.

I’m convinced that “dawdling behavior” is related to gender. I tend to go view life (like most guys I suspect) as a series of tasks or missions to be completed as quickly as possible. Christina views life as a series of wonderful potential opportunities. One of my jobs is to come up with a list of restaurants for us. I approach this by getting Zagats and the Michelin Red Guide and cross referencing them by “arrondisement”, ambiance and food type. I then give her a list of “acceptable” restaurants by type and travel distance. I am also responsible for getting the newspaper and providing books for us to read. Christina’s job is to plan everything else – walks, museums, movies, jazz clubs, stores, etc. She also is responsible for planning, marketing and preparing one home dinner a week (per our negotiated agreement). She then wonders why I have more time for reading than she does!

Part of the reason that we both love Paris and New York is the shear diversity of things to do. You can easily spend a day (or 2 or 3) just walking around looking at interesting buildings, parks, shops and markets. The big museums and tourist sights are often just icing on the cake. I can’t imagine living anywhere else but one (or both!) of these cities.


Well, I’m off. Christina has a busy day planned for us. We probably won’t get to half the things on the list but there’s always tomorrow.

Paul del Balso, Paris Journal
October 25, 2005


Christina’s aside:
When you dawdle, there’s no telling just what you might find. Have a look at this wonderful Wallace fountain which dispenses drinking water in many parts of Paris. These cast iron fountains are named after Richard Wallace, the Englishman who paid for their construction in the late 1800’s and the water dispensed today is still good to drink.

Don’t let Paul fool you--he dawdles as well, but he calls it shopping!