Thoughts on a new life

Today, I am married to Chris for three years!

It's been almost 10 years since Tobi died and I can't believe the changes in my life. Back then, I was CFO of Pfizer's global pharmaceutical business and was on top of the world, professionally. Retirement wasn't something I could even imagine. On the other hand, Tobi wasn't doing well. She had recently become wheelchair-bound after 25 years of increasing disability. And, despite my cherished belief that MS would somehow protect her from cancer - she had suffered enough! Unbelievably, Tobi's breast cancer had recurred and rapidly progressed. Work seemed like all I had left.

When I made the decision to start a new life, I could not have imagined how dramatic or wonderful the changes would be. The decorator who worked on my apartment also introduced me to Chris. I quickly realized she was the perfect match for me - she loved NY and food and travel and reading and quiet times - and she made friends everywhere we went; She was organized where I was dis-organized and dis-organized where I was organized. We "quickly" decided to move in together and later; when I got the "chance to retire early" she agreed to retire as well and then agreed to marry me. We had a quiet wedding at my sister's home in Greenwich followed by a trip to the Poconos for a "traditional honeymoon" with all the trimmings - heart shaped bed, champagne glass hot tub, everything I never knew I wanted. It was a blast! We also took a honeymoon cruise on a three-masted schooner.

I really won. I not only got a wife, but the family I never had. Being involved with Scott has been an unexpected benefit that I never even considered. I now have a friend who shares my love of clothes, technology and adult toys.

It has now been three years of both marriage and retirement, and I couldn't be happier. We spend most of our time together but it never gets old. We have been fortunate to have been able to spend time with both friends of a lifetime and new ones. Our building in Manhattan is small and most everyone knows each other. We have new friends and feel part of the community.

We are always busy. We never have enough time to do everything we want. Living in NY and the Berkshires there is an almost infinite amount of theater, museums and restaurants - the big three! We also managed to find time for Paris in the fall, Palm Beach in the winter; a cruise now and then; and driving trips to Canada and in the US. As our in-house travel agent, Chris is really, really busy. I manage my time better (by delegating to Chris) and have more time to read and puzzle.

I never thought you could have it all, but I was wrong. We now have everything we could want, including each other - and it scares the hell out of me.